For today, I just want to share this message…
“This too shall pass” used to be my mantra whenever faced with difficulty. It is like medication to me, some drug I ingest to feel better about my situation. Problem is, I have abused this line. I tell it to myself over and over ’til it feels true. It turned out to be a defense mechanism, a dependable excuse. Receiving the message above got me thinking; Is that courage?
My heart answered no. I’ve realized that aside from looking past my situation, I usually do nothing else. Mostly, I just wait for the situation to fizzle or for the focus to be deflected somewhere else. I only wish for more days to pass ’til that horrible chapter is over. Often, I just harden my exterior and pretend to be in control because in time, all things are bound to be okay. Forgotten, even. Looking back, I was merely slacking. I was nothing but cowardly. And foolish.
I think it’s okay to use the transience of things in order to look past the gravity of a problem, but we have to be careful not to get stuck on the idea. As for my past, I’ve only been reliant to the line. My looking-beyond-the present-attitude removed me from the need to solve my problems at the moment they’re happening. I should have gotten more from those experiences than just memories or tales to tell. However, I protected myself too much and made myself believe that problems just blow over and disappear. I only waited, and waited for the next season to arrive.
All along, my faith was in the wrong. I only had faith in time and how it heals all wounds. I lacked faith on how God is fixing things for me, and how much faith the Lord had in me to resolve any problem. I only took the mantra literally. I only wanted the short cuts and the make-beliefs. I should have worked on the way I respond to “hard” times. I shouldn’t have worried that much but prayed more instead. I shouldn’t have allowed problems to just pass me by; I should have disciplined myself out of each rut. I shouldn’t have given up or ran away, I could have held on and learned more from the painful experiences. I shouldn’t have feared where I was and realized sooner that God would pull me through any storm and would bless me wherever I am. I shouldn’t have wished for the problem to pass suddenly, but for the problem to transform how I see life. I should have known that changing my perspective spells the difference between getting desperate and healing. All these “I should haves…”
Oh well. I know better now. No more empty “This too shall pass” lines for me.